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Gloria Horton-Young's avatar

Now, let’s be clear. Ketchup bottles running for cover? That’s the most cardio this White House has seen in years. And if ketchup is sprinting, can you imagine what the Big Macs are plotting? Probably tunneling out, Shawshank-style.

Some people stock bunkers with canned goods. These guys? They just panic when the condiments do. Either way, late-night just got a whole lot more fun.

Here’s the thing: Kimmel’s not just TV—he’s pest control. Nothing stains faster than truth with a punchline. Which means I’ll be tuning in, not just for the monologue, but to see if those ketchup bottles ever find safe housing.

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Trevor Stone Irvin's avatar

We are the Calvary ...

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